As a single woman fast approaching her 30th birthday, the question I get asked most often is “Why are you still single?” It annoys me to no end because the people asking are often not poster children for the good coupledom life. Whether you’re sensitive to the question or blasé about it, that five-word probe still sounds like a curse in any language. It’s the kind of question that arrives with a fake smile and far too much confidence.

Short of turning into the personification of Bridget Jones in the midst of an uncomfortable dinner party, here are three ways to answer that question without resorting to bodily harm. “I’m having too much fun having multiple orgies with random strangers” is one option, since it shocks people into silence and tells them they’ve crossed a line. A smart-aleck reply can be the quickest way to make them back off. Sometimes humor is the cleanest way to draw a boundary.

“Why? Do you have someone in mind for me?” shifts the pressure away from you and puts the onus on them to do something useful with their curiosity. Some of the best and happiest couples I know met through friends or family, and that has made for some interesting how-we-met conversations around the dinner table. It is a simple way to remind people that your love life is not their project. If they insist on meddling, make them work for it a little.

“You know, right now I am just focusing on being the best version of me so that I can make myself and my future partner happy.” Say it, because it’s the truth. You are dating, but you are also having fun, working hard, experiencing new things, and making great memories. The right partner will find you when they do, and there is nothing wrong with being fabulously single. Enjoy it while you can and stop apologizing for your life. You do not need permission to be happy exactly as you are.